celestia:

once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying

(via fierrrrrrce)

I mean, I could write slogans. How hard could it be, right?

(Source: whatatragedy, via crystallized-teardrops)

edgebug:

martinthesassygaylibrarian:

avenged-wholockian:

the-jackals:

msmeiriona:

HEY FOLLOWERS:

HAVE YOU EATEN RECENTLY?

ARE YOU HYDRATED?

IS THERE MEDICATION YOU NEED TO TAKE?

HAVE YOU LAUGHED TODAY?

FRIENDLY REMINDER BECAUSE I KNOW I NEED THEM EVERY SO OFTEN.

ALSO HERE HAVE A KITTEN:

image

YOU I ACTUALLY FORGOT TO TAKE MY MEDS TODAY

this is the third time this post has reminded me to take my meds

we’re all gonna die

dude i haven’t had any water today or taken my meds thank you for this post

(via sicilianbxtchwithlonghair)

yungcunt:

Moving to Atlanta to become a stripper.

yourfavouritecharacter-isdead:

please don’t unfollow me 
here have a snickers 

image

you get a bit delusional when you’re hungry 

(via crystallized-teardrops)

ex0skeletal:

Fun shark attack facts:

  • In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
  • In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
  • For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.

Conclusions:

  1. Humans are assholes.
  2. Sharks are not assholes.
  3. Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.

(via yourfavouritecharacter-isdead)

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(via hotboyproblems)

"Let me be quiet"
a bitch ready to say something mean (via collectionof-paradoxes)

(via sicilianbxtchwithlonghair)

bagmilk:

eating really nasty food at someones house

image

(via lolsofunny)

nirvanaschild:

I’m sorry but this made my whole day
anus:

awh there’s a ladybug on my screen
typicaltaurus:

What level did ur dog learn flamethrower
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