From the moment I saw you, I knew I was gonna spend the rest of my life avoiding you.
what if Jesus had a middle name
and it was something really lame, like Harold.
"JESUS HAROLD CHRIST. COME HERE THIS INSTANT AND CLEAN YOUR ROOM."
"But MOOOMMM I’m healing a blind man!"
"DON’T MAKE ME GET YOUR FATHER"
Why do people act like being a vampire is so fucking great. You can’t eat garlic bread so what’s the point